I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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