I understand Curling. That high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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