Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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