He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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