I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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