she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
