Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
