remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
