i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
