You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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