I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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