White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
