you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
