My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize