Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
