Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
