You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
