..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My vagina is officially offended.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
