i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
