Have you finally orgasmed yet?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
