Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
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