my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
