We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
