As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
