May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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