I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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