after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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