Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
