I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
