You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
