Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
