During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
