when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
