At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
