it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
