Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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