Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
