I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Holy shit dude........stairs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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