Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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