so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's not cheating when I paid for it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
