Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
