Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
