She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
