Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
