he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
