Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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