I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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