He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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