I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need a burrito and a hug.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
