I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
