i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is the high leading the old right now
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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