The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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