He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
